I have often thought that there were a few evil cabals in the world.
The fact that dentists seem to be in cahoots, and almost always,
every-time you go, they have to drill another hole in you head.
Composite fillings that wear away, crowns that fall off, all of that
nonsense. We built the atom bomb, but can’t fix teeth? They’ve been
doing basically the same thing for a hundred years, when they used to
have to hand crank the drills. Who is doing the research? So the
technology gap and the fact that they use fear as a sales tool, it’s
always been upsetting to me. Given the right equipment, I think
anyone could fill the holes in their teeth: duct tape, superglue, a
drill, some mod-rock and white paint. Sorted.
So that is one axis of evil.
I just discovered another one. I was shaving, something I’ve never
been very good at. A friend of mine called it “scraping his face”.
That is exactly how I feel. I cut myself. In fact, I have NEVER
shaved entirely without a cut, until four days ago. I was in a jam,
I had a job interview and a scruffy looking face. I was out of
shaving cream and razors. So I used Susi’s. Susi has this razor
that looks like it came from the future, or Japan. Three blades, a
swivel head, some weird bumps on it and those strips that may or may
not work to soften the blow. I used it. I didn’t cut myself.
Imagine that. After about 15 years of shaving, I finally did it
without drawing any blood whatsoever. And I shaved without any cream
or soap, just a bit of water. Which got me thinking/day dreaming.
Picture a room full of engineers, one of them yells “Eureka” and
sprints off to find the CEO of, say Gillete.
Panting from his run, the engineer says, “Boss, I’ve got it, the
perfect razor, no shaving cream, not even soap, just water! And you
won’t cut yourself to ribbons!.”
The CEO steps back, eyes the engineer suspiciously and says “Steve,”
he says, “you are the stupidest man in the company. We don’t just
sell razors. We sell shaving cream. We sell aftershave a product
designed to remind you with a stinging sensation that you need to be
more carefull, buy a more expensive razor, more shaving cream. Steve
our business is built on shitty razors. With a perfect razor, we are
done for. Steve, you’re fired. And by the way, don’t forget the Non-
Disclosure Agreement. Our attorneys have dealt with this issue a
dozen times and will have you in a trailer park in no time.”
So that is the story, I think.
Women don’t buy shaving cream, therefore, they need a razor that
works with a minimal amount of … well … excess stuff, or
product. Ergo, the women get the good razors and our razors suck.
It may emasculate me a little bit, but I am going to start scraping
my face with women’s razors. And if anyone has a problem with that,
well, you go on cutting yourself, sucker.
I was staying round my sister’s a few weeks ago. Woke up for the morning routine, but discovered that my razor was broken (ok, it wasn’t broken, the blade bit was and I could have easily removed it, attached a new blade then shaved properly, but meh. I’m an English Lit student, we can’t handle practical stuff).
After first trying to shave with one of the detached blades I had in my bag, I realised that my sister had a razor in the bath which looked suspiciously similar. Sure enough, the blade I’d just been using fit perfectly. Both razors were from Gillette, appearance dictated by gender stereotype.
So I conclude that the razors sold to women are exactly the same as those marketed to men, only in pink. I’d be interested to know if there is any difference in cost - if so, my bathroom cabinet is going to be looking even more camp than usual…
It is entirely possible that the razors themselves are exactly the same. I mean, how many different ways to make really really thin steel. However, the accroutrement around the blade, the bumps and weird pads, seem to do me a lot of good…
Regarding price point: I think women get ripped off.